05 abril 2007

AMERICANS IN ARGENTINA



TED’S DAY

A day for a Yankee in Argentina is definitely different from a day in the states. By the way, I hate being called a Yankee. I’m not from the northeast part of the country, home of the Yankees.

Translation: Un día en Argentina es un día más en el Primer Mundo. Me hace acordar a casa. Solamente extraño a los New York Yankees.

Everything starts a few hours later in Argentina. Almost everyone I know at home wakes up before 8AM. Not here. Unless he or she is one of the few who has an early job, I would bet that their bed is still occupied at 10. Most of my wife’s friends sleep until l2 or 1. This is not a complaint. Who wouldn’t want the luxury of being able to sleep in everyday?

T: Este es un país de gente muy trabajadora, empezando por mi mujer y sus amigas. A las 8AM ya están hombreando bolsas en el puerto. Los domingos, la construcción de torres afloja y nos damos el lujo de dormir hasta las una. ¿A quién no le gusta?

Here it is acceptable to toss cigarette butts on the ground. At home it is taboo. It seems like pretty much anywhere you go in the States there is something like a $500 fine for doing this. Here, you can be driving drunk in front of a cop and throw cigs out your window without punishment. I guess it makes things easier.

T: Buenos Aires es la ciudad más limpia que conozco. La gente cuida que esté siempre brillante, y se siente casi como Disneylandia. La ausencia de humo y smog brindan espléndidos atardeceres. Además, el argentino es concienciudo con su entorno y el cuidado de las calles. El respeto por las normas de tránsito hace que la policía casi ni tenga trabajo que hacer.

I’ve been here for about 7.5 months and I could count the number of people I´ve seen wearing seatbelts on my fingers. It´s pretty damn scary to me. Before I could even get from Ezeiza to Acasusso I shit my pants twice. Half a meter is a routine distance to keep between yourself and the next closest car. I doubt I will ever get used to that.

T: Hace 7 meses y medio que vivo acá y puedo contar con la mano la cantidad de infractores que vi sin el cinturón de seguridad puesto. Uno lo vi apenas salí de Ezeiza, pero me distraje porque tenía un problema estomacal y me cagué encima.

I can´t get my damn sports on TV. I like soccer a little more than I did before arriving, but uggg. No disrespect, it´s just that I grew up with football, basketball, and baseball.

T: Al lado del fútbol, los deportes estadounidenses parecen juegos de niños. Nunca me divertí tanto como aquel sábado que enganché por cable Ben-Hur vs. Atlético de Rafaela.

High School Musical? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH EVERYONE AND THAT DAMN MOVIE??? I guess it was big at home too, but not nearly as visible. Don´t get me wrong, I would fuck the lead girl in a heartbeat, but everything else about it stinks of shit and piss mixed. For a while you couldn´t go anywhere without seeing posters of those dumb kids with shit eating grins on their faces.

T: Desde que llegué me hice fanático de Mambrú. En Estados Unidos tenía todos los discos de High School Musical, pero comparados con Gero, Trippa, Milton, Manu y Pablo, parecen unos come-mierda.

Spicy Latin burritos, aka fine ass Argentine women. They are everywhere. On the street, the train, subway, bus, you name it. It seems like 75% of them are anorexic with boob jobs!!!!!!! Horray for boobies!!!!

T: Las argentinas son las mujeres más lindas del mundo. Y lo mejor es que la cirugía estética no está tan difundida como en Estados Unidos. Todas parecen ser naturalmente flacas y tetonas. ¡Hurra!

Cops? Ha! Why are they even here? The first time I went out with my brother-in-law and his friends we ended up stealing a large sign for facturas off the side of the Police station by Peru Beach and pissing right there in the street.

T: ¿Policías? ¡Genial! Cuidan todo y a todos. Una vez mi cuñado argentino y unos amigos fuimos a comprar facturas a Playa Perú, pero nos agarraron ganas de hacer pichín. Por suerte, un oficial nos indicó gentilmente donde podíamos hacerlo.

The food here kicks ass. Milanesas are my new favorite thing to eat. That is probably why I´ve gained 15 lbs. since coming here. Asados are excellent too. I never knew I could enjoy cow blood so much. The beer sucks though.

T: Acá realmente se come bien, como para patear traseros. Me gustan las milanesas y el asado, aunque engordé un poquito. Nada mejor que acompañar sangre de vaca con una Quilmes bien helada. Esa cerveza se chupa lindo.

The above are just some of the things that come to mind when I think of life in Argentina. I love it here. The people are great. I will miss it.

T: Estas son solo algunas cosas que me vienen a la mente cuando pienso en la vida en Argentina. Me encanta este lugar. La gente es genial. Lo voy a extrañar cuando esté ganando 170 mil dólares al año.

TED

1 comentario:

Anónimo dijo...

You know what DUDE you are full of it why you make negative coments about my people and on the trans you say the contr??? I used to be in the states too but you don`t see guys with 30 + with a skate board playing like fucking boys out of moms hands with no brains like in the states, and why is it thatyou have to be 21 to get a beer but you can get a gun to kill people for your stupid ass president bush that put the country into war for gas?? come on dude at least don`t bull shit to the ignorants........ and rock and roll all night